Trapped

Being trapped inside your mind is one thing, but to be trapped outside is another.

The overwhelmingness of making others happy, putting on a brave face and facing your fears ten times worse than you normally do is hard.

I’m in a field surrounded by pretty wild flowers, the sun is shining but suddenly the flowers turn to weeds. Forever growing harsh vines trying to strangle me. I can give in, I usually do – it keeps everyone happy. But the main question at the end of the day is am I happy? Whilst the vines are tightening they do not see the emotion within me, as long as they are being fed they are fine. I’m the bait.

But like every fisherman reeling in his rod, there comes a time when there is no more bait left. Without the bait you don’t get what you want. You could question what happens to all the emotions, but the truth is the fisherman just looks into where he can get his next bag of bait. He no longer cares for the bait he had as he has used it, and used it and used it til it had gone. He doesn’t care how he treat the bait as it was for himself. The fisherman got what he wanted and now the bait was no more he moved onto his next bag ready to do it all over again.

Being the bait myself I have been hooked, bad. Trying my best to get away and each time I try I fail and give in. I cannot do this anymore. The fisherman needs a new bag of bait and I refuse for it to be me. I’ve done my bit and I have had enough.

The weeds need to vanish and the flowers need to regrow.

 

© Nikita Lola Roberts

 

 

Within this written piece is a very cryptic message that you may or may not understand, sometimes I like to take the negatives and turn them into something else, explore what they could be in another world. This time it’s growth. I could rant and rave about anything I wanted but that would just be like a journal entry wouldn’t it? I feel I get to unleash my feelings and thoughts in a different light this way, I guess for me it is kind of calming being able to say how I feel without actually saying how I feel. Does that make sense? For me I am getting out everything I need to get out and that makes me feel better. Make of it what you will. The idea of my writing style is for you to interpret it however you see fit, but know that there is a true meaning behind each piece I write.

You probably will never really know exactly what the message/meaning is.
That’s okay. 

 

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